Beat me out of myself
by KazeRogue
Summary: Who is Rogue's Nemesis, the voice haunting her, reminding her of the failure that is her life?


Disclaimer: Marvel's  
  
Dedicated to my ever so brilliant scary editor FieryRogue. Hon, you are the peachiest! ( and I don't mind your nitpicky edits at all, no no, not at all ... *sniffles* ^___- )  
  
Beat me out of myself  
  
by KazeRogue  
  
  
  
Who are you?  
- Rogue  
What are you?  
- Leader of the X-Men  
Are you sure?  
- Haha, good one, now leave me the heck alone.  
...  
- Okay, so maybe Ah'm not one of these big strapping spandex superheroes, so what?  
What are you afraid of?  
- Ah'm not afraid, now leave, already  
Make me...  
- Ya know Ah can, ya know Ah'm superstrong and everything, Ah can make ya go forever  
Why aren't you doing so?  
- Ah'm stronger than that, Ah can face ya, Mystique taught me  
Are you sure?  
- LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!  
What about Gambit?  
- Ah won't go there, sugah  
Do you love him?  
- Yeah  
Why are you here alone, then?  
- Ya know it can't be. Mah powers...  
This is not about your powers  
- Oh, do tell me, wise one, what's this about, then?  
About the fact that you are a weak, immature brat, unable to really love and let yourself be loved, unable to face who you really are.  
- Th.. that was enough, Ah'm leaving  
You can't escape me  
- Ah know, Ah hate you  
What is it that keeps you from being strong?  
- So, Ah'm not the serene Storm, Ah'm not as strong as Jean, who still fights after Scott's death. Ah'm not perfect - what's the big deal?  
It's easy to be weak, isn't it?  
- Shuddup, ya don't know what ya're talking about  
... to dwell in your misery, full of self-pity  
- ... shut up, shut up. SHUT UP!!!!  
Why don't you let Gambit love you?  
- Ah'm trying, okay? Ah try, every day, every second, but Ah can't! Ah've been there and it hurts. It hurts everytime and it gets worse. Ah can't go there again...  
Do you know who you are?  
- ... Ah'm Rogue...  
No, you pretend to be rogue. Because people will think you're strong when you call yourself Rogue... because they will stay away from you. They will not come close to see how weak you are, to see what a pile of miserable shit you are.  
- No! That's not ture, Ah want them ta come close... touch  
No, you don't. You want to stay the director and the main actress in the perfid little play you call your life. Wanna play the drama through, the more pain, the more .. entertaining for your perverted little mind.  
- Ya're lying!!!!!  
I'm not and you know it. We cannot lie to each other...  
- Stop it!!!!  
I won't... I stick to you, forever, and I will do my best to make my fate more endurable.  
- By letting me suffer?  
Stop being so 'strong'. Be really strong and admit your weakness, Rogue, and find the strength to LIVE your life.  
- Ah can't... it hurts...  
Life is hurt, but it's still more than your farce  
- Ya think so? Ya think Ah can do it?  
No. What do you think? I'm not your therapist, I'm here to show you your worthlessness. But it sounded good, right? Like one of your dumb sappy novels, where everything turns out good, the hero overcomes his fears and lives happily ever after. But that's not what your life is made of, and it's my job - and pleasure - to show you.  
- GO AWAY!!!  
Splintering the mirror won't help you. It will only be proof for the others how far you're gone. But I will always be here, in every quick reflection in the glass, in every lake you look into, reminding you of what you could be, of what you will never be....  
  
  
  
  
  
Note: the title: it's strange, the title came before the story. I sat at the station, waiting for my metro home, and there was that graffiti, that said 'beat me out of me'. Someone had corrected it by spraying 'myself' across the second 'me'. First, I had a good laugh over the fact that someone was actually correcting graffitis, then, somehow, the line intrigued me and the whole story was written in the metro on my way home.  
Somehow (after 'out of control' wasn't flamed but actually my greatest personal success till now concerning fanfiction) I'm more into short stories and character studies at the moment. But don't worry, I still plan to one day finish my ongoings ;P  
Hope you liked the story and will send me feedback (hint hint ^^) 


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